Parsing out the Nonsense...

Inundated as we’ve all been by political punditry and campaign ads lately, I must admit I’ve reached the saturation point.  Unquestionably, the sound bites are designed to appeal to the emotive and not the intellectual.  We are to “feel” something that motivates us to select a particular candidate. 

It's not working for me. The only thing I feel is the strong desire to do utter violence to the people that write this stuff. Perhaps it's time to relieve pressure by parsing out some of the nonsense:

Sound bite:  “He’s for change!”  This has got to go to the top of the official list of meaningless, but apparently motivating, political sound bites, particularly when it is laid out there without the slightest indication of what that change might be. Any change?  Good change?  Bad change?  Change of underwear?  Doesn’t seem to matter! 

Sound bite:  “He’s the only candidate that can bring us all together!”  What? Let me get this straight.  Are liberals going to become conservatives or will conservatives become liberals?  Will I give up my principles or will they give up theirs? Are we going to end the two-party system? And is this all going to happen because a certain politician can utter two teleprompter sentences in a row without swallowing his tongue? 

Sound bite:  “There are two Americas!”  Incorporated in this silly bit is the notion that there should be equal outcome for every citizen.  Doesn’t matter if you quit school, abuse drugs, have six children out of wedlock or show up for your job.  You deserve exactly the same outcome as the industrious individual who studied hard for for years, put off children until marriage, remained dedicated to his/her career and consistently traded short-term fun for long-term gain.  Even if you didn't earn it, the government (read:  the taxpayers) should provide it.

Actually there are about 300 million Americas.  Everyone rises to their own level in a meritocracy depending on ability, application and effort.  Would you have it any other way?  Ironically, the populist politician so fond of this silly, divisive utterance lives in a $6.5 million mansion — only a short distance from po’ folk in trailer parks.  No sign so far that he will be spreading around his trial-lawyer fortune to help these people.  His plan, before he thankfully dropped out of the race, was to raise your taxes and pass your money around for votes.

Sound bite:  “He/She is for the people!”  Hey — thank God for that.  I sure wouldn’t want to vote for someone who was for, say, the kangaroos.

Sound bite:  “I want to give hope back to the people!”  Hope back to the people?  What is this, Zimbabwe?  The people have no hope?  Quick - someone tell the hoards of legal and illegal immigrants clamoring over our borders that America is no longer the land of hope and opportunity.  Please - stay in Guatemala where there is hope!

Sound bite:  “This election is about the past versus the future."  Profound platitude.   But has there ever been an election that wasn’t?

Sound bite:  “He’ll reach across the isle!”  Translation:  He’ll compromise his principles - and sell out yours.

Sound bite:  "He’s about the power of us, and what we can do when we come together.”  If this twaddle makes you want to vote for someone, please turn in your voter’s registration now.   As a matter of fact, if any of these sound bites motivate you at all, it's time to replace the batteries in your B.S. detector and  sign yourself up for a month of rehab in a critical thinking clinic.

What’s more maddening than being force-fed 18 months of meaningless twaddle?  The knowledge that your next president is, largely, going to be a result of it.